I can't believe it's been a month. I don't know if I can even really call myself a blogger anymore. But, in any case, I'm still here... I'm still alive. I'm still figuring things out.
The best and most important news is that BigSis had the baby!!! Sesame (as she will heretofore be known) was born a week ago today- a tiny little thing at five and a half pounds with a full head of black hair. She has big. beautiful gray eyes and is the most perfect, amazing baby I could imagine. I fell madly in love with her on first sight and so for the past week I've been with my family nearly every day. I just can't stay away from my niece! It helped that I had a few days off from teaching between the Jewish holidays and Columbus Day and all that. But, it's back to work tomorrow.
On the Narc front, everything is calm-- so calm that there's hardly anything to report. We had a "perfect" day two Fridays ago. I wanted to blog about it, but... Anyway, we started the day (a twinkling Fall day on which I felt pretty in my clothes) at MoMA where I got to see Kirchner's "Street Scene" paintings, quite a sight after having only had access to muted reproductions. The colors were electric and the brush strokes slashed me, but felt like feathers. The whole effect was rather hallucinatory. After that, we walked North through Central Park and had dinner at Sabarsky. Then we browsed the book store before attending a lecture at the Met on London in the Jazz Age. Finally, that night we went to see Bill Mahr's movie-- Religulous.
Meema was staying with me for a while, as she's going through some major transitions in her personal life. Since she moved out, I've been with Narc nearly every night. We've gone out with his friends, and that barrier seems to completely have come down. It's strange that he integrates me into his life now, because I can't seem to integrate him into mine. We were out for dinner last night with three of his friends. There was a heated debate about whether or not we are entirely ruled by evolutionary instincts. I don't know... I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach about the two of us. Nothing dramatic or knotted or sick... just a little bitter taste that I can't seem to shake and an underlying anxiety that something is just wrong. I don't know if it makes any sense that my niece should make any difference in all of this, but since she was born, I feel even more like I'm in a hole I have to squirm out of. I really want to move on. I know I've been saying that forever and haven't done it, but I have made some insanely huge changes in my life, so I have faith that this one is just next on the list.
What else...? As I lost a lot of weight this year, I have been having a blast shopping for Fall clothes. BigSis helped me pick out a gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous Calvin Klein winter coat. I even bought a few pairs of high heels (with Meema's help) and I've been practicing traipsing around the city (on days in which my schedule requires minimal walking!). Um... what else? My sponsee and I "broke up," although I'm now working with another woman, so it all worked out. I'm back to taking voice lessons and loving it. Right now I'm just beginning to learn Tatiana's letter scene from Onegin and Sieglinde's narrative from Walkure.
Speaking of the opera, Anxious and I saw a phenomenal production of Salome on Saturday. Karita Mattila got totally nude, there was a sudden, quite unexpected, passionate suicide, and the libretto included references to rare items such as "turquoise that can make you see things that aren't there." Awesome.
Today I had lunch with B and his wife "D." (I'll have to call her that, as her previous name just isn't nice.) It was the best interaction I've yet to have with her. I think she accepted the olive branch I extended when I offered my apartment for her (co-ed) baby shower.
Oh-- I had a little drama that I neglected to write about when it happened. Narc inadvertently met TT. That was a little weird. I would get into the whole story, but it was a few weeks ago and doesn't really seem to matter anymore at this point.
Anyway, I'll try to post more often and I'll try to get back online and read everyone's blogs. I've been gone for too long! Part of it is that I have absolutely no down time these days. I'm never home, and the afternoon time I have in between teaching (when I used to do a lot of my blogging) is spent writing lesson plans for my British History class.
I'm turning 30 in a few months. I think I'll be ready for it just in time... :)
love,
h
3 comments:
Bloggers, like other writers, are not measured by their productivity but their willingness to identify as such. Same with actors. Strictly speaking I'm an actor, complete with IMDb entry!
You sound happy, or at least pleased with the state of things. That's a real positive. If feeling good means you stop blogging, that's the best possible end to the Annals of Mr. Hyde.
PS: I am coming to New York next month and I hope we can go out for cupcakes again and catch up.
Hey, I'm glad to see you back, I missed you! It sounds like things are going well and that you are on the cusp of big things! Hey, I changed my whole life this past year at 30! So good luck and keep me posted!
I was just a bit worried about you...but I'm glad things are going really well.
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