Meeting MJ

It has been a busy few weeks around here. B and his wife asked me to be Godmother to their daughter. I am so honored that I am without words. Some kind of real healing has truly taken place. The baptism is coming up on Saturday. I bought her a beautiful gold locket. yay!

On Friday afternoon, despite the rain, I kept my appointment to have a Brazilian Keratin treatment on my hair. They instructed me that I could not get my hair wet, clip it, put it in a ponytail or even tuck it behind my ears for four days! I finally get to wash it tonight. I also had to endure some gynecological torture before meeting Hammer, the Alaskan and their friends at synagogue that night. The Alaskan has been working for about two years towards his conversion to Judaism before their wedding in June. The ceremony took place on Friday. He made such a beautiful speech. I was really quite moved. Afterwards, Hammer hosted a little dinner party at their apartment. I got to meet some of their new friends.

In other news, I finally had the date with "perfect on paper," from now on to be known as "MJ." When I posted last, we were supposed to go out that night, but he got sick and had to cancel. We rescheduled for Saturday. I spent most of the afternoon hanging out with NDN. We went to Bloomingdale's where I sugar-crashed a little bit on Forty Carrots frozen yogurt and NDN had his makeup done at the Lancome Counter. He is into being a rocker these days, a la Adam Lambert. Back at my place, we took topless pictures of him making love to my plastic Guitar Hero guitar and a dagger that I brought back from Russia while I got ready for my date. I tried to ignore the gnawing Narc-anxiety present since I hadn't heard from him on Friday night. I need to just assume that he is doing the worst of what I fear at all times, since it's not in my control anyway.

MJ and I met at "Kefi" on the Upper West Side at 6:45. I had to set the date early, as Contessa's housewarming party was later on in the evening.

(HYDE: If you wanted to, we could have dinner on Sat and you could come with me to the party, but that might be kind of weird for a first date. What do you think?

MJ: I think we need more context to determine how weird that would be. How about we do dinner on Saturday and then decide whether I accompany you further?)

I don't want to turn this date into something blog-dissected, but the bottom line is that we got along really well. He is very, very, VERY impressively smart; he is randomly interested in all things Russian (as am I-- we were even both in St. Petersburg the same summer in college) and he was kind and chivalrous and I felt comfortable with him. He is also responsible (as in he has a good job and lives like an adult), he's close with his family, and he nurtures his spiritual/religious side. I'm not 100% sure that the chemistry is there, but I think I need to give it a little more time before I can tell.

Since dinner went so well we decided it was best for him to continue on and accompany me to the party. We looked for a homeless person to donate our delicious dinner leftovers and he treated to a cab up to Inwood. As Contessa is an architect and her husband is a composer, the party was full of interesting artistic types. I barely knew anyone there, but in a way it was better that way. When we first arrived, I had to use the restroom and when I came out, MJ was talking to two strangers. I thought that was a good sign--that he is comfortable in his own skin.

At one point, a choreographer asked if we had known each other long.

"Um, no... we just met," I said.

"How wonderful! You are still discovering each other!" she declared.

Also-- I told him I don't drink, although I didn't explain why (he didn't ask), and he didn't have a single drink the whole night. It was very sweet and respectful and wouldn't you know-- there are people who can comfortably socialize with strangers and on a first date without alcohol!

We stayed at the party until well after midnight. In the cab on the way home, he asked me to sing something in French and held my hand. I was grateful that he didn't try to kiss me. I think that at this point in my life, I need to develop friendships first in dating. I can't deal with much more than that right now.

Anyway, it was all great. The only problem is that he's not really my "type" (which may be a good thing, given the guys that my "picker" has picked for me). It may never click though, and I don't want to force it either.

Later that night (at around 1:00 AM), as luck would have it, just as I had put Narc momentarily out of my mind, he called. I went. He was at "Edwards" reading Tarot for his friend Miranda. I had met her a few times and said my hello's just as she was saying her goodbye's. He was in "I love you mode," making out with me, groping me at the bar, and all that. I felt conflicted and strange, but blissfully obliterated in the black hole of him-- a place from where I need not deal with anything else or anything real. We were up until 5:00 in the morning. It was one of those nights I wait for-- the ones that make it worth tolerating all of the other crap. (Well, sort of...)

On Sunday I stayed with him and we watched "Forgetting Sarah Marshall." At around 3:30 we took a walk to Battery Park to look at his favorite ducks. It seems that they haven't yet arrived for the season. I had to leave to meet Sugary for book-work and a meeting at 5:00, but I went back to Narc's at 9:00, still in my date jeans and tight lacy top from the night before. Ug. In some ways I totally suck. My sponsor calls it "powerlessness." I have to agree...

MJ sent me an email:

I wanted to tell you that it was well worth the wait to finally meet you. You seem like an amazing person. To quote the choreographer from last night, I hope you'll allow me the opportunity to continue"discovering" you, he said.

Yesterday I babysat for Sesame again. She is just a delight and a doll. When the rain cleared I took her for a stroll on Austin Street and we stopped in at Victoria's Secret. Some pushy saleswoman kept asking me what kind of bra I wanted.

"I'm just looking," I said.

"Can I measure you?"

"I'm alright. I'm just looking."

"Alright. Are you nursing?" she asked.

"No!" I looked at her as if she were an idiot and walked away.

It was only moments later that I realized that she asked me that because I was with a six month old.

Oh no! I thought. She probably thinks I'm the kind of mom who doesn't nurse. I WOULD nurse if she were mine!

I wanted to go back and explain it to her, but then I laughed at myself and decided not to bother. I did end up getting measured, was very surprised at the size, became convinced that I should take advantage of their sales, and so, I bought some very sexy lingerie. woo hoo!!! (Not that there's anyone in particular to share it with, but whatever...)

Anyway-- this week is busy-- I've got Passover and Easter and the christening. I hope you are all well out there. Off to teach another class in a few minutes. World War II is about to begin...!

love,
h